Does everything really happen for a reason? I know I've found myself proclaiming that it does, but really? The term "everything", after all, is a pretty big umbrella. What about spilling coffee all over your desk? What is the reason for that? How about your shoe laces being untied and having to stop to retie them? What's the big plan behind that?
Nothing, I guess. So let's say "everything" doesn't really mean everything, but instead everything that disappoints, confuses, frustrates, depresses or angers you. Those are usually the things we usually question anyway. No one says "Wow, I found this crisp five dollar bill on the floor! Why, oh why, did this happen to me?"
I'm trying to decide if we say everything happens for a reason to make ourselves feel better, or because it's true. I know there are many instances in my life where I eventually got to a point in a situation where I said to myself "Oh -- now I get it! That's why xyz happened three years ago, because if it didn't, I wouldn't be in situation abc right now. Cool. I'm with you now, all knowing Universe."
But lately, I'm thinking some times, not all the time of course, but some times, things do just happen because they happen. Which, even as I type, I don't like. Thinking everything happens for a reason is a very comforting thought. What's comforting about randomness? I like things nailed down. I'd carry a hammer around with me if I could, just for that very reason. Or would I...?
Random thoughts can be cool. I don't even now how a random number generator works, but how cool is that (I know, I'm letting my inner nerd out). The shuffle feature on your ipod is cool. Who would think Elton John's Sacrifice immediately after Slim Shady would make for good work out music? Not me, but there you go.
Okay, it's not even 8:30am yet and I'm only half way through my coffee. I will not solve this mystery today. In the words of Scarlet O'Hara "after all, tomorrow is another day."
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
365 Days Ago
Three hundred and sixty-five days ago my eyes opened suddenly at 6am. A few seconds later, my water broke. After taking a shower, shaving my legs, packing Paul's overnight bag, and calling my boss, we headed for the hospital.
After 15 hours of pitocin, 1 epidural, watching 3 quarters of NBA finals game 3 (Lakers vs Celtics), and 2 and half hours of pushing, my daughter was born just after midnight.
Today, 365 days later, I woke up suddenly at 6am. This time it was to the sound of Maxine crying. My 364 days old daughter was ready for milk, ready to start the day, ready to walk around the living room carrying her favorite toy in hand.
Seriously, what a difference a year makes.
After 15 hours of pitocin, 1 epidural, watching 3 quarters of NBA finals game 3 (Lakers vs Celtics), and 2 and half hours of pushing, my daughter was born just after midnight.
Today, 365 days later, I woke up suddenly at 6am. This time it was to the sound of Maxine crying. My 364 days old daughter was ready for milk, ready to start the day, ready to walk around the living room carrying her favorite toy in hand.
Seriously, what a difference a year makes.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Quote of the Week
My 4 year old nephew: "Will Maxine be a woman when she grows up?"
Me: "yes."
Him: "That's disgusting."
Me: "yes."
Him: "That's disgusting."
Friday, April 10, 2009
Self Reflection
Yesterday I did some self reflection and realized that I have a tendency to start projects with a lot of excitement and due diligence, but to not actually complete them. The excitement dwindles and the due diligence is replaced by procrastination.
Mind you, I don't do this when it really matters. I did get my degree. I did actually have and do take care of my Maxine. Though I often put the ass in quality assurance engineer, I do a pretty good job at work.
It's my personal projects that I falter on.
I've decided 2 things. One, self reflection sucks. Ignorance really is bliss. Two, I've vowed to work on this whole failure to execute deal. I'm excited. I will be diligent in this pursuit.
...or maybe I won't and instead I'll watch reruns of Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D List. That is one good show. Yeah, that sounds so much better than working on myself.
Mind you, I don't do this when it really matters. I did get my degree. I did actually have and do take care of my Maxine. Though I often put the ass in quality assurance engineer, I do a pretty good job at work.
It's my personal projects that I falter on.
I've decided 2 things. One, self reflection sucks. Ignorance really is bliss. Two, I've vowed to work on this whole failure to execute deal. I'm excited. I will be diligent in this pursuit.
...or maybe I won't and instead I'll watch reruns of Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D List. That is one good show. Yeah, that sounds so much better than working on myself.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
That Damn Juno
Last night Juno was on TV again. I caught just the last 10 minutes, but of course there I was, standing in the kitchen tearing up like a sap. The scene with Juno laying in the bed and her father saying "you'll be back here some day on your terms", followed by Vanessa seeing her baby for the first time gets me EVERY time.
What is it about that movie?
What is it about so many movies? There is a list of movies that I can watch any time they are on TV. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen them.
Castaway. That might be one of the most perfect movies ever made. Favorite scene is easy. From the moment Tom Hanks shows up at Helen Hunt's house, to the time he drives away. It's perfection. If she doesn't at least want to runaway with him, then you'd think she didn't have a heart. But if she actually did, you'd think she was a terrible mother and wife. So heart wrenching, yet so good.
Something's Gotta Give. Ah, to live on the East Coast, summer in the Hamptons and live the life of a tortured writer. What more could you want?
You've Got Mail. This movie makes me want to pack up and move to NYC. I know, I know, the "real" NYC isn't really like that. But in this movie and in my head it is. I love how they show every season and how life changes year round. How can a Minnesotan not relate to that?
The Lake House. I think I have a girl crush on Sandra Bullock. I absolutely adore her. Love, love, love the soundtrack to this movie. Perfect music for every scene. This is the movie that introduced me to "This Never Happened Before" by Paul McCartney. I think the play count on iTunes shows that I've listened to it over 300 times.
So while I damn Juno for making me cry every single time, and each of these movies for sucking me in over and over again, I can't help but love them.
What is it about that movie?
What is it about so many movies? There is a list of movies that I can watch any time they are on TV. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen them.
Castaway. That might be one of the most perfect movies ever made. Favorite scene is easy. From the moment Tom Hanks shows up at Helen Hunt's house, to the time he drives away. It's perfection. If she doesn't at least want to runaway with him, then you'd think she didn't have a heart. But if she actually did, you'd think she was a terrible mother and wife. So heart wrenching, yet so good.
Something's Gotta Give. Ah, to live on the East Coast, summer in the Hamptons and live the life of a tortured writer. What more could you want?
You've Got Mail. This movie makes me want to pack up and move to NYC. I know, I know, the "real" NYC isn't really like that. But in this movie and in my head it is. I love how they show every season and how life changes year round. How can a Minnesotan not relate to that?
The Lake House. I think I have a girl crush on Sandra Bullock. I absolutely adore her. Love, love, love the soundtrack to this movie. Perfect music for every scene. This is the movie that introduced me to "This Never Happened Before" by Paul McCartney. I think the play count on iTunes shows that I've listened to it over 300 times.
So while I damn Juno for making me cry every single time, and each of these movies for sucking me in over and over again, I can't help but love them.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
That's Classy
Almost 10 months into parenthood I realize I've already got my list of repeated, and I mean REPEATED, sayings. I like to think of them as trinkets of wisdom that my little M gets to hear. Because I'm in a good mood, I will now share my favorite with you:
Books are for reading, not for eating.
M loves her books, but apparently she loves eating them more than anything. Hats off to her for resisting the temptation as I'm actually reading them to her. She's polite enough to wait until I'm done. She is nothing if not classy.
Books are for reading, not for eating.
M loves her books, but apparently she loves eating them more than anything. Hats off to her for resisting the temptation as I'm actually reading them to her. She's polite enough to wait until I'm done. She is nothing if not classy.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Distant Wagon
It's official: I fell off the wagon. Actually, it's more like I jumped off it. After 3 weeks of working out, I pretty much stopped altogether.
There's an easy solution. I just need more hours in the day. Four would be fantastic. I'd use 1 to work out. Two more to spend with my hubby and baby. And the last for an additional oh so needed extra hour of sleep.
On second thought I'd use half of that last hour to finish extra chores around the house. An extra half hour of sleep would be just fine.
As for those last 5 baby pounds, I've resorted to Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones. I was pleasantly surprised to see they've added more vegetarian options instead of the token 1-2 I'm used to seeing.
So the wagon has gone on without me...it's sort of a dot in the horizon now. Maybe I'll jump back on again sometime, but for now it remains in the distance.
There's an easy solution. I just need more hours in the day. Four would be fantastic. I'd use 1 to work out. Two more to spend with my hubby and baby. And the last for an additional oh so needed extra hour of sleep.
On second thought I'd use half of that last hour to finish extra chores around the house. An extra half hour of sleep would be just fine.
As for those last 5 baby pounds, I've resorted to Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones. I was pleasantly surprised to see they've added more vegetarian options instead of the token 1-2 I'm used to seeing.
So the wagon has gone on without me...it's sort of a dot in the horizon now. Maybe I'll jump back on again sometime, but for now it remains in the distance.
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