Are We There Yet?

Today was the day I bought my first tube of anti-wrinkle cream. I told myself it was more of a pro-active, preventive measure, but seriously? Apparently, we are so there.

The items in my Target shopping cart today included the anti-wrinkle cream, something called "butt paste" (for my 4 month old, not me, thank you very much), and decaff coffee. Who is this person?? If it weren't for those familiar onset wrinkles, I'd hardly recognize myself.

Beverly Hills 90210

While on maternity leave, I began to DVR reruns of Beverly Hills 90210 on the Soap channel. I needed something to get me through those 3am feedings that last an hour. House and 90210 did the trick.

This is the classic 90210, mind you, the original. No 21st century fancy zip code show for this girl.

Two episodes every day. You can get through almost an entire season in just 2 weeks. God bless the man (or woman) who invented DVR! I could go on and on about how much I love it, but I'll save that for another blog.

I am loving the reruns, but man, oh man, how my perspective has changed. In my 11 year old head, Brandon was the perfect friend/son/brother/student. He was the all around good guy who always did the right thing.

Now? I think he's a pompous, arrogant ass. First of all, who the hell calls their parents by their first names? Jim and Cindy, my arse. Second, the guy was such a freaking know it all! So PC, so diplomatic, and yet so freaking annoying.

Then there's Brenda. Will the whining ever cease? Enough said.

And the absolute most annoying, can't stand her, character, in my humble opinion was: Andrea.

Am I alone in this? I used to think she was the smart girl who was trying to keep up with the cool kids, all the while getting super good grades. But now I'm thinking she's the super defensive, hyper-sensitive, know it all with an ax to grind no matter what the topic. Don't even get me started on the college years. Little miss goodie goodie gets knocked up, then cheats on her husband the first chance she gets.

But even as I'm writing this, I'm realizing something. Any TV show that gets you this worked up about fictional characters is serving its exact purpose pretty darn well. It may not be a believable show, but it sure is entertaining, even 15 years later.

Love Letter

Dear Coffee,

I miss you so. I long for the day we can reunite like long lost lovers. I hope you know I haven't forgotten about you. Instead I think about each morning as I pass the coffee maker at work, or sometimes when I wake up I discover that I've had a dream about you. A wonderful dream where you are in a cup and there is a nice warm bagel next to the cup. I add half and half and a little bit of sugar, followed by some gentle stirring. You know what happens next.

The baby will be here in less than 3 months now. That is the first major milestone. Then, a few months after that, say 3, we shall meet again.

I miss you.

-Lovi

The Mom Haircut

A few days after Christmas, I got the itch. No, not a rash. The itch that every girl has to change her hair and try something totally different.

The same thing happened last time I was about 20 weeks pregnant, but then I truly went mad. I had just gotten out of the shower and looked at my long hair and thought, "I can't take this anymore" and grabbed some scissors. I just chopped it off. Not a great idea when you have wet, curly hair and no experience cutting hair.

This time I took a better approach. I scheduled an appointment that very day for a cut and color. She took off at least 10 inches and then colored it to a tone I can only describe as a mix between violet and red. I loved it!

Here's the problem: a few days later as I admired my new hair cut in the mirror, it hit me. I have the "mom haircut." You know what I'm talking about. Short, easy to manage, no frills. There's a good chance you'll see one next time you see a woman get out of her mini-van.

I've decided a few things. One: with a toddler at home and another baby on the way...yes, I am a mom. Two: I'm good with that, even the mom haircut part.

On the plus side I've gotten many compliments on it and no one so far has pointed out that it's a mom-do. Shhhh...it'll be our little secret.

The Best Conversation

Today I had one of the best conversations of my life...with my 18 month old daughter. I was in the bathroom putting on makeup when I heard the door swing open.

Disclaimer: I found this to be one of the best conversations I've ever had because it is the first time where I realized afterwards...I just had a little conversation with my daughter. There were no great revelations made, no surprise turn of events, nor any secrets revealed, but I don't think I will forget it any time soon. My baby is growing up!

Her: Momma!
Me: Hi, Maxine!
Her: How are you?
Me: I'm good, baby. How are you?
Her: "Goot"
Me: Did you drink your milk?
Her: Yes.
Me: Maxine, I wish I could stay home all day and play with. I don't want to go to work.
Her: Okay.
Me: Can I stay home?
Her: No.
Me: Should I go to work?
Her: No.
Me: What should I do then?
Her: Well....
Me: Where's daddy?
Her: (Points to the bedroom) Right there! (Runs away at this point.)

It's hard to believe this is the same little girl who couldn't lift her own head 18 months ago. Every day brings something new right now.

Does Everything Really Happen For a Reason?

Does everything really happen for a reason? I know I've found myself proclaiming that it does, but really? The term "everything", after all, is a pretty big umbrella. What about spilling coffee all over your desk? What is the reason for that? How about your shoe laces being untied and having to stop to retie them? What's the big plan behind that?

Nothing, I guess. So let's say "everything" doesn't really mean everything, but instead everything that disappoints, confuses, frustrates, depresses or angers you. Those are usually the things we usually question anyway. No one says "Wow, I found this crisp five dollar bill on the floor! Why, oh why, did this happen to me?"

I'm trying to decide if we say everything happens for a reason to make ourselves feel better, or because it's true. I know there are many instances in my life where I eventually got to a point in a situation where I said to myself "Oh -- now I get it! That's why xyz happened three years ago, because if it didn't, I wouldn't be in situation abc right now. Cool. I'm with you now, all knowing Universe."

But lately, I'm thinking some times, not all the time of course, but some times, things do just happen because they happen. Which, even as I type, I don't like. Thinking everything happens for a reason is a very comforting thought. What's comforting about randomness? I like things nailed down. I'd carry a hammer around with me if I could, just for that very reason. Or would I...?

Random thoughts can be cool. I don't even now how a random number generator works, but how cool is that (I know, I'm letting my inner nerd out). The shuffle feature on your ipod is cool. Who would think Elton John's Sacrifice immediately after Slim Shady would make for good work out music? Not me, but there you go.

Okay, it's not even 8:30am yet and I'm only half way through my coffee. I will not solve this mystery today. In the words of Scarlet O'Hara "after all, tomorrow is another day."

365 Days Ago

Three hundred and sixty-five days ago my eyes opened suddenly at 6am. A few seconds later, my water broke. After taking a shower, shaving my legs, packing Paul's overnight bag, and calling my boss, we headed for the hospital.

After 15 hours of pitocin, 1 epidural, watching 3 quarters of NBA finals game 3 (Lakers vs Celtics), and 2 and half hours of pushing, my daughter was born just after midnight.

Today, 365 days later, I woke up suddenly at 6am. This time it was to the sound of Maxine crying. My 364 days old daughter was ready for milk, ready to start the day, ready to walk around the living room carrying her favorite toy in hand.

Seriously, what a difference a year makes.